Posts tagged inspiration

So I have been struggling today…I just couldn’t seem to stop my brain. I spent every single moment contemplating what I should be doing, what I wanted to do, and what I actually was doing. It’s not just what I should be/want to do/and am doing career-wise anymore either, it is literally every single thing I do in the day. It is SUCH a hostile headspace and it is exhausting.

Halfway through the day today I found myself just wanting to go to sleep so I could get away from my brain for a little while. I literally could not stop thinking. and re-thinking and re-thinking and judging and getting myself deeper and deeper into a place that I DON’T want to be. Anyways, what this is all culminating down to is thatART andCREATIVITY are the best. It all makes me feel and I need that. The mundane cycle of my current life is CONSTANTLY getting me down and I feel like I am getting nowhere and art is the one thing that helps me to escape. I find that when I am in the deepest distress the one thing I find myself craving is art. Photography, playing the guitar or uke, writing and in today’s case drawing.

I finally got to a point this evening (after exhausting the nap route) where there was nothing that interested me anymore. I was SO over everything and I simply had the urge to draw. I VERY rarely draw but when I do it is usuallyon a day similar to today where I am just into the idea of escaping my real world thoughts and delving into my creative mind. The one road block however, is that usually when I start to draw something I hate it and end up erasing it or giving up halfway through. Today I started with the intention of drawing a bunny rabbit and ended with something so much more profound. I scrapped the bunny (per the aforementioned reasons..AHEM giving up cuz i hated it AHEM) and was drawing a puppy. That being said, I can NEVER draw the bodies of animals…it is just something I typically fail at and again I struggled. Then, as I was about to give up completely something clicked. I simply decided to move the pencil around freely and forget about making mistakes for once…try something new, draw in a different sequence perhaps…to simply just draw.

I let myself go and the impact was profound.

Drawing this puppy was literally the best analogy I could have ever come across. I made countless mistakes with my pencil but I fixed them. I drew lines just to see what would happen. Lines that I gave no thought to whatsoever and some of these lines became the most important lines of the whole drawing! They were the lines that changed everything, the whole perspective of the subject. I erased and re-drew and erased and re-drew and the mistakes became the guidelines. The backbone for the whole picture. If I had given up I would have been left with half a dog and a feeling of defeat. Instead, I tried. I made mistakes, mistakes that shaped the entire outcome of the drawing. I took risks, risks that became the best parts of the drawing. And I let myself do it. I let myself create, and I did.

I finished my puppy. The best puppy I’ve ever drawn. My puppy that will forever serve as a reminder to let myself do freely…to go forth and never look back. The puppy to remind me that I can do and will do.

It was a moment of profound enlightenment.